My 11 week tummy

This week has been a little better. My headaches have eased up, even though my allergies are going CRAZY!!
I have learned that I have to start the day with eggs and a small amount of carbs to keep from being sick.  Cereal was just to sugary for breakfast and it was setting up my day in a bad way.  I weigh 130lbs!!!  Yeah I am not pleased with that number, but it all came from being sick.  WHAT??  Well you see the only way I wasn't on the verge of vomiting was if I was eating.  So I was eating all of the time.  Oh and my boobs are now 36DD, Yeah and I am not even three months in yet.  They are gonna be soooo huge! 
I bought a really cool thing at Target yesterday.  It is a belly wrap thing.  You use it to keep wearing your button up jeans and such.  You can leave the jeans unbuttoned and unzipped and the belt covers it all up and holds your pants up!  Why didn't I think of that?  So cool.

Baby H

So we went to the doctor on March 14th for our first visit.  We were so anxious to hear the babies heart beat and know that things were going ok so far.  I get undressed and I'm laying there ready to hear the swish swish sound of my sweet Baby H and nothing!  Dr. Gorman decides to do an utlrasound, so we nervously switch rooms and get ready and the ultrasound begins.  TaDa!  There is Baby H with his/her sweet little heart beating.  So come to find out I am about a week less pregnant than we originally thought.  I have to say I think it is kind of cool to have a picture of the baby so tiny.   The little bump on his/her back is the yolk sack.

My 10 week tummy

I felt horrible yesterday, thank goodness I didn't have to work.  I slept almost the whole day.  I had some cramping and light bleeding that made me pretty nervous, but I seem to be feeling better today.
I watched a couple of episodes of  A Baby Story, which I should not have done.  Dang I forgot all about the crazy things pregnancy does to your body.   I've got a long bumpy road ahead.  I guess I just have too much energy for a dull life.
I'll be teaching BodyCombat tonight.  I really want to teach it for as long as I possibly can.  Not sure how much longer my obliques can handle sidekicks and roundhouse kicks though.  I am already needing to brace my side and my poor stretching transverse abdominal muscle is going to be stretched to the limit!  I'm trying to do as much as work as I can to try and keep them strong so they can support my belly as it gets bigger.
I'm having a really rough time with my prenatal vitamins too.  They just aren't setting well in my stomach.  I switched to my faithful Flintstones today.  I hope I do better with them.  

My 9 week tummy

Yep, that is my stomach with my sweet little baby growing inside.

9 weeks tomorrow

My little surprise is a little over an inch long now. And he ( hoping for a boy so gonna say he) is a a true fetus. Arms, legs, vital organs, even fingernails. It's amazing to think that another human is growing inside my belly. I have had three children yet I have never been so terrified. I know I can do this, it's just a matter of how. This is my ultimate wake up call to get my butt in gear and do something substantial. Maybe, I am struggling in order to help someone else. I need to follow the lead of the strongest women I know, the WCM, and stand tall and make my friends and family proud of how I handle this situation. So complaints, honesty, good stuff, and humor is coming.

Teaching Pump with a protruding stomach, ugh!

So I am trying to keep this pregnancy a secret until I can no longer hide it.  Answering all of the questions just doesn't seem like a pleasant experience.  It will come soon enough.   So I am teaching BodyPump tonight, in one of the last exercise shirts that I have left that even fits and covers my massive boobs and the darn shirt isn't long enough to cover my gut!   So the entire class all I can think about is what my participants are thinking about seeing my stomach.   Are they thinking, WOW she has packed on the pounds this winter.  What happened to her?   It embarrasses me that they are looking at me as their fitness instructor and I am not fit.   Back to my last blog of setting a bad example.  I guess in this situation I am setting one.   I was able to suck it in last week, but not this week.  I am running out of clothes in my closet and it is frustrating.
I know by now you probably want me to say something positive, so I will say at least the scale can still register my weight with out going "BOING"!  HA!    Sorry folks that's all I've got today.
Maybe I should log my cravings, lets see.  KETCHUP KETCHUP AND UM KETCHUP!  Anything sour or salty makes me smile.  Pickles, sour jellybeans, fruit, etc.  Amazingly sweets aren't my thing.  They actually kind of make me sick at my stomach. I would say YAY!  but don't be fooled, the salty foods I am craving are much worse than the occasional cookie or ice cream.  Oops!  Hopefully this part will be over soon and I will eat like a normal person again.  OR maybe not!

So this is going to be my sounding board for my pregnancy.  My surprise pregnancy!  Yeah no more pictures like the one on my blog for a loonngg time!    Nope, now it is morning sickness, cellulite, and an absolute loathing of my ever growing wide body.   I know you are suppose to think your body is beautiful when you are pregnant and by golly I know a lot of gals that are simply that.  BEAUTIFUL!  I on the other hand, am not one of those lucky gals.  I am short so I only have the option to become a full blown blob.   It doesn't help that I am single and almost 38.  Yeah, there's the icing on the cake.  Surprise your old single ass is having a baby!  Good Stuff!
Now don't get me wrong, I know babies are a blessing and well I am truly happy that I am going to be able to have another sweet baby to love and watch grow, but that doesn't mean I am excited about feeling so ugly and being single is well, embarrassing.  My ex husband, bless his heart, informs me that I am not worthy of raising his daughter because I am a horrible example to her.  Now, let me tell you that I did point out the fact that it's not my fault that my birth control didn't work, but at the same time.  His words hurt.  I don't want to be a bad example to anyone.  I only want good and happy things for everyone. 
I have to tell you, I am afraid.  Scared to death actually.  I know I have really great friends and the baby's father is super sweet and he will stay by my side.  But I still have a big black hole of fear.  Fear of the unknown, fear of being alone, being ugly, being unwanted, being the one to bring other people down, and being the one to set a bad example for anyone. 
Ok, so I am having a bad day obviously.  I don't plan on complaining the whole time, or maybe I do.  I don't know.  I am freakin' hormonal and well my happiness and good/bad mood changes in an instant.

Yep ladies, if you haven't had a kid yet.  Follow along so that you are prepared for the never ending roller coaster.  All of the good and ALL of the bad!